


One dollar per swear

by OMG_Orlaith



Category: Avengers
Genre: Domestic, Domestic!Avengers, Gen, Swear jar, Swearing, swears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-06
Updated: 2012-06-06
Packaged: 2017-11-07 02:45:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/426055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OMG_Orlaith/pseuds/OMG_Orlaith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A short domestic!-type Avengers ficlet in which Tony loves swearing and Natasha doesn't. And Tony gets punched.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One dollar per swear

Natasha Romanoff despises swearing. An unusual pet hate for a covert assassin, you might say, and she agrees. But it just gets on her nerves, particularly when her partner (professional...and otherwise...) has a penchant for profanity. 

In her opinion, it's just unnecessary. She finds it understandable to utter a few curses when you are injured, extremely angry or have botched a mission (perhaps the last one is not so...universal) but when you use it as an adjective, as an adverb, and even as a noun it just seems a bit overused. 

Clint has a whopping collection of obscenities, most of which he is rather proud of. However, the use of any of them prompts a smack on the side of the head from Natasha. When that failed to serve as a deterrent, and Clint's hearing starting falling into disrepair, Natasha invested in the swear jar. 

Tony Stark found this hilarious, until Natasha announced that he had to follow the rules as well. 

"If I hear one swear, no matter how vulgar, it will cost a dollar. " She announced one night, her distaste for profanity no longer a secret. 

A dollar. A dollar seems fine, right? But one dollar paid several times a day begins to add up. Though Tony has never needed to worry about money, (which is one of the many benefits to being a billionaire), to him, it's about the principle. 

"Natasha, are you being serious here or are you just fuc-...messing with us?" A raised eyebrow from her direction stopped him mid-swear. And a little rattle of the tin answered his question. 

And so the swear jar rules were established. 

1\. If this concept is still in any way difficult to grasp- THERE IS NO SWEARING. AT ALL.  
2\. Each and every swear word spoken will cost $1. I WILL BE COUNTING.   
3\. Those who break this rule will have to face the consequences. 

The cylindrical tin was opened every night by Natasha, emptied of its contents, and closed again soon after. It was just your average swear jar, really. Nothing special. Except for the fact that it was nearly filled to the brim every few days. 

Was. A certain event discouraged her housemates from their typical speech habits, but before that, most would begrudgingly pay the dollar as the total profit grew higher. 

And that was only when Natasha caught the swearers. But then again- she always caught them. 

She still wasn't happy, however. Swearing was still present in the household, and she wanted that to end.

Usually, Steve was more honest than the others. He had learned well. He knew that on the rare occasion that he dropped an f-bomb or the s-word that it was safer to just put in his dollar before Natasha realised that he's cheated the system. And she always knew when that happened. 

Tony should know. He's still nursing his black eye. 

It happened out of the blue, and it surprised (and frankly, scared the living hell) out of the swearers in the building. Clint was conversing with Tony, rather pleasantly at first, until the topic of the new rules was discussed in...*adult*....terms. 

"Ugh, tell me about it, Robin Hood." Tony muttered. "You'd think she'd lighten up a bit. If I see that jar again, I will break that piece of shi-..."   
For the second time, Tony was interrupted. 

Not by a glare this time, but by Natasha's fist. 

"The hell are you doing?" He spluttered, clutching his bruised face with both hands.

"I believe that I mentioned some "consequences", boys?" And with a final smirk, she exited the room. 

The contents of the swear jar were considerably less the following morning.


End file.
